Related to Infertility | Posted on September 21st, 2018
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I never thought this would be my life. I never thought it would be such a struggle to obtain something so precious. Infertility has been hard. We have tried to have a baby for nearly 9 years. Every negative pregnancy test, every period, every failed treatment, broke another piece of my heart. We have only ever gotten one positive pregnancy test, in Dec 2015 on Christmas eve, after our IVF. We had decided exactly 6 years before that that we wanted to start a family and began trying. That positive test gave me so much joy. Then, on January 14th, 5 days before my 30th birthday, total devastation. The baby stopped growing, I was miscarrying. The emotional and physical pain was tolling on both my husband and I. Financially drained as well, we were forced to take a break. We transferred to a new dr and decided to do a FET (frozen embryo transfer) in Novemeber 2017. We found out I had a polyp and/or fibroid in my uterus that could cause an embryo to not implant. So in January 2018, I had an d&c and hysteroscopy to remove what ended up being one polyp and one fibroid. My post-op appointment, I found out that there was issues with the polyp and he believed it was pre-cancerous cells. I went to see an oncologist who diagnosed me with Uterine/Endometrial cancer. It was up in the air whether we would be able to have our FET and I was emotionally devastated. Both the fertility dr and oncologist agreed that I should do progesterone steriod for 2 months to see if the medication would take care of the cancer cells (works for 99% of the cases). Sadly, I was the 1% it didn't work for. Despite being on the meds, my cancer was growing and the risk of it spreading to other parts on my body were rising. Our only other option was a total hysterectomy (cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, and lymph nodes). I went to my fertility doctor and had an embryo banking cycle in May. In June 2018, I had my hysterectomy. My heart is broken that I will never get to be pregnant again. I will never get to feel my baby kick inside of me. I feel so much loss. But I refuse to give up on my dream. I work with kids everyday (I work for a preschool). I love my job, I love kids. Someday, somehow, I will be a mom. It might not be the traditional way, or even how I had planned it. Infertility has affected every area of my life. I will win.

Written by:
American Intended Parent, Lansing, Michigan, USA
Tiffany - Intended Parent
Location: USA / Michigan / Lansing | Member since: September 20th, 2018 [EDT]
My husband and I tried to have a baby for almost 9 years, we went through all kinds of treatments and surgeries. In Feb 2018, I was diagnosed with Uterine/Endometrial Cancer and had to have a total hy ... See Profile
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