Related to Intended Parents | Posted on May 19th, 2017
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My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now. We put off having a family for all the usual reasons (wanting have stable jobs, wanting to be financially secure, wanting to have a good home ...) Finally when the time was right, we found that it wasn't as easy as we'd expected. I decided to have some medical tests run and the doctors found that I had been born with a condition that left me unable to have children. While it left me completely healthy, it was un-treatable and permanent. While the news was hard to swallow, it wasn't crushing to us. Having a biological child wasn't nearly as important as having a family was to us. The choice to adopt was easy and we knew immediately that it was what we wanted to do.
Adoption rather fell into our laps unexpectedly. Although we knew it was what we wanted, it came to us, rather than us to it. My husband is a diplomat with the US State Department and at the time we were serving in southeast Asia. Just weeks after getting the news that I couldn't have children, a couple came to us and asked us if we could adopt their little girl. It seemed like fate. We needed a child, they needed a home for theirs. We immediately took her in and began raising her as our own. We fell completely, head over heels for her the instant we met her. She was the light of our lives, the heart of our family. And then it all went away. In the last stage of the adoption, at the final hearing, after raising her for months, we had expected to leave the courthouse with a birth certificate, instead we left with broken hearts. The parents had changed their minds and wanted her back. They had realized the finality of their decision and couldn't go through with it. While we were crushed, we couldn't hate her birth parents. We couldn't hate or blame anyone for loving her as much as we did.
Still, it nearly destroyed us with grief.
We cannot subject ourselves to the possibility of that kind of pain again with adoption.
That is why we are looking now toward surrogacy.
We have so much love to give. Love to a child, love to a child's surrogate mother ...
We have spent a great deal of time preparing for a child to complete our family. I quit my job, becoming a stay-at-home contractor (I am a braille transcriber, I make books for people with visual impairments), so that I can be home 24 hours a day. We have bought a large house with a giant yard in a small town in Washington state near the park. While we are not "rich" people, we are comfortable and can provide so many opportunities to a child like attending private State Department schools, traveling the world, and experiencing new cultures.
We believe in accepting all people, we believe in having fun, in being creative and original. We love having adventures and trying new things. Mostly we believe in family.
It is that belief that keeps us going, that keeps us trying for a child to complete our little family. We hope to find the special someone who is willing to share that belief with us.
I was born with a congenital defect that prevents me from having a child.
We attempted adoption, if we couldn't have our own, we wanted to give a child who needed a family all the love and happiness ...