Becoming a Surrogate Mother may raise concerns for your own family. This is faultlessly normal. Surrogate Mothers should be at a place in their life where they absolutely feel that their own family is complete in a sense, but it does not however mean that you cannot have more children.
The decision to help someone attain a family through surrogacy is a very imperative decision which should be explored from everyone’s eyes. You should communicate with your family to help prepare them for this journey.
How do I feel about my wife’s desire to have a child for someone else? What if we decide to add on to our own family? What if there are complications from the surrogacy that prevents my wife from being able to have another child? Can she do this without my consent? What if my wife or myself becomes attached to the baby which could have serious emotionally consequences for our family?
These are questions you and your wife should discuss in depth. The goal is NOT to negatively impact your family life, relationships or marriage and increase the stress on your wife in the course of the pregnancy. As your wife presumes the load of the Surrogacy, the exertion is amongst both of you. A marriage should be based on a foundation of trust, honesty and compromise. You both discuss this process and decide whether or not this journey is right for your family. A Surrogate Mother willingly knows in her heart that she will not develop an attachment to the child. As for the spouse, this can be unwavering.
Why is Mommy not coming home with the baby? Did Mommy give the baby away? Where is the baby going? Is that our sister/brother?
It is best to keep an open and honest approach with children regardless of their age. Young children are extremely interested and indulgent of the Surrogate journey if it is explained in terms that are easy for them to understand. Start with graphical terms, “Mommy's friends tummy is broken so Mommy is going to fix it by carrying the baby in her tummy.” Older children are typically very supportive of the idea. Children are open-minded and non-judgmental. There are great books and cd’s available to assist in preparing them for this journey as well.