Since neither of us has ovaries or a uterus, if we wanted to have children of our own, we knew we would need help from some very generous people along the way. In May 2021, we were matched successfully with an egg donor - we were lucky enough to secure 17 eggs, which resulted in 3 blastocysts for Karan and 1 for Adam. We're now very excited to be leaving the lab and embryologists behind for a while and focus now on finding a surrogate to help us complete our family!
Adam is a software engineer, born and raised in the UK. Karan is a secondary school Chemistry teacher who was born in India and moved to Canada when he was 18 and then to the UK after university. We were introduced to each through mutual friends back in 2015 and got married in August 2021! We're now excited to start the next chapter in our lives as parents! We asked our friends how they would describe us, and this is what they had to say: Karan ... "Compassionate, intellectual, amazing with puzzles and problem solving. Active and fun to be around" Adam ... "Caring and thoughtful, organised and good at planning in advance and preparing for any problems which might arise. Takes special care in making sure those around him are looked after. Empathetic and a great listener" Joint ... "They're my favourite people to play a board game with as they are a delightful mix of competitive, patient whilst explaining something and full of banter. They're incredibly good at trying new things; we've had fun nights out, and in, but they're also good listeners and supportive friends.They're affectionate without being OTT and compliment each other really nicely. Adam and I can get carried away planning but Karan helps make it spontaneous, and likes to remind us that you can have fun without a plan!" We both asked one of our friends to describe us in three words. Karan got back "nerdy Canadian light-weight" whilst Adam got "kind, organised, adventurous." It's amazing how insightful three words from a friend can be - the difference in tone of these two answers speaks volumes about our personalities!
Above all, we would just ask that our surrogate is open and honest with us. A shared interest or two will of course be a bonus. We are first time intended parents and very happy to be working with a first time or experienced surrogate on our journey. We would prefer a surrogate who has had a successful pregnancy. We like to think we are going into this process with a very open mind. We would certainly like to maintain contact with the surrogate beyond the pregnancy and for our child to grow up knowing who their surrogate is. We’ve tried not to form a preconceived idea of exactly what form our future relationship will take and just allow our friendship to develop organically throughout the journey. We're getting ahead of ourselves now, but we'd also like to embark on a sibling journey later on and we're open to that being with the same or different surrogate. We would like to stay connected throughout the pregnancy and attend appointments where practically possible. We would like the implant to happen at CRGH in London where our embryos are currently stored, but understand that depending on the location of the surrogate, other appointments might need to happen at a more local clinic or hospital. We also appreciate that depending on distance, timings of appointments and work schedules, it may not be possible to attend absolutely everything and communication may need to take different forms at different times. Our clinic has advised that they prefer a medicated journey to maximise the chance of a successful implant, so our preference would be for a surrogate to be open to discussing that in more detail with the clinic. It is also important to us that the surrogate doesn't smoke or drink during the pregnancy. As difficult a topic this is to discuss, in the event that genetic testing revealed a severe genetic disability or doctors advised that there was increased risk to the surrogate, we would want our surrogate to be open to terminating the pregnancy if necessary. We wanted to include this upfront in our profile to ensure a surrogate shares the same view on this with us. We appreciate that a surrogate is likely to want to share the journey they're going through with their support network and that introducing the intended parents to their family and friends could be a big part of this. We would be very happy to travel for introductions and meet-ups. The gift of carrying our child is the most amazing gift and we would want to do everything in our power to make sure the surrogate is supported on this journey.